do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
