My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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