Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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