There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
