he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
