guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize