i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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