I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize