Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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