no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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