Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
