You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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