I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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