The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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