For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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