I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
