The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Congratulations! We have a period
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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