He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
