i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
