I skipped work to stalk him.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
