Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
