my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
