dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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