Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
