member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
