I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
