you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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