Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
