Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
