My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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