He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
