ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
