Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
