so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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