The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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