A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
