Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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