you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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