We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
