sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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