porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
