What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
