He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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