Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
