Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
