It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
