dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
