I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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