My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
