i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
