I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
