You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
