Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
