I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
