Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
