plz talk dirty to me
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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