Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
