Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
