so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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