Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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