Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
